I’m not one to speculate, so I looked to experts in this area, most particularly Dr. Robert Moore. Here’s what he says about it:
http://www.robertmoore-phd.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=page.display&page_id=35
From Robert Moore:
---“Time is late and we are in a desperate situation. Look at your political leaders and listen for anybody that is going to step up and name masculine initiation, or the lack of it, as a serious world-wide problem. You are going to have to listen a long time before you hear anybody that is even talking about this, and even longer before you come across anybody who really knows what is going on. Those in the echelons of power do not have a clue that it is not merely economics, it is not merely education, it is not merely any particular social location or television show or rap song, that is the source of our difficulties: it is the whole lack of a system of masculine initiation and eldership.
If you look at the Gutmann book, what does he say? He says that in every indigenous culture the older men bonded together as peace chiefs. They bonded together with the young men to help them understand what all this aggression is for. They offered young males a vision of masculine maturity.”---
In his books, he explains how gangs are a natural offspring of lacking traditional initiations into adulthood. Even the gang initiation is similar to indigenous initiations. Without these initiations and teachings, our youth don’t know how to properly express their aggression for the benefit of the community.
Robert Moore:
---“They also realized - and Gutmann's (1987) book makes this very clear - that the old people of the earth, the tribal peoples, knew that you had better initiate the Warrior in the young man. If you do not initiate the Warrior, then the aggressive energy in a young man is going to damage his community and himself, too. They came up with the software, the tribal initiations, from the Masai to the Zulu to the Zuni, to help the young male learn the proper and appropriate use of aggression. Because he is flooded with it so early in his life, he does not have the life experience to tell him how to use it wisely. The elders must do that.”---
This is why we have militant groups and our leaders lash out in anger about what’s going on to our people, instead of channeling that energy into beneficial actions for our youth. Former Chief Dennis Meeches, however, understands the importance of these rites of passages that were lost during the Residential School era. He asked me to help him with a program that assists youth in the criminal justice system with their rite of passage into adulthood.
Now, if you take a deeper look into the inner workings of a gang, you’ll find the characteristics of the Adult Children of Alcoholics Syndrome. For example, there’s the rule of Silence, which means no one can rat on anyone. The Delancey Street Foundation, which has a 92% success rate in reforming addicts, criminals, and murderers, breaks this rule to foster transformation. They reframe snitching as helping your brother, because the focus is to do just that.
Another interesting finding was discovered by David R. Hawkins. He developed what’s called the Levels of Consciousness model, which sheds light on why our people remain stuck in poverty and gangs. He states that the lower levels are Shame (one step above suicide), Guilt, Apathy (homelessness, Learned Helplessness), Grief, Fear, Desire, Anger and Pride. The higher levels are Courage, Neutrality, Willingness, Acceptance, Reason, Love, Joy, Peace, Enlightenment... you’ll notice that our 7 Sacred Teachings fall within the upper levels of consciousness.
Steve Pavlina:
---“An increase from one level to another will result in enormous change in your life.... I think the most important work we can do as human beings is to raise our individual level of consciousness. When we do this, we spread higher levels of consciousness to everyone around us. Imagine what an incredible world this would be if we could at least get everyone to the level of acceptance. According to Hawkins 85% of the people on earth live below the level of courage.
When you temporarily experience the higher levels, you can see where you must go next. You have one of those moments of clarity where you understand that things have to change. But when you sink into the lower levels, that memory becomes clouded.”---
From http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/04/levels-of-consciousness/
So how is the actually applied to our people, and its connection to gangs?
Thankfully, authors of Tribal Leadership, Dave Hogan, John King, and Halee Fischer-Wright researched hundreds of companies and thousands of people to determine what makes people and organizations work effectively. They determined that it’s the culture and perceptions of the people or organization that determines what actions they take and results they produce.
This research sheds light on the issue of gangs and leadership, and how to transition from one stage to the next.
Stage 1 runs the show in criminal clusters, like gangs and prisons, where the theme is “life stinks,” and people act out in despairingly hostile ways.
Stage 2, the dominant culture in 25 percent of workplace tribes, says, in effect, “my life stinks,” and the mood is a cluster of apathetic victims.
In Stage 3, the dominant culture in half of U.S. workplace tribes, the theme is “I’m great” or, more fully, “I’m great, and you’re not.”
Stage 4 represents 22 percent of tribal cultures, where the theme is “we’re great,” and another group isn’t.
Stage 5 is the culture of 2 percent of the workforce tribes, where the theme is “life is great” and focuses on realizing potential by making history.
Source:
http://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&source=web&ct=res&cd=2&ved=0CAkQFjAB&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.triballeadership.net%2FUserFiles%2FFile%2FArticleExecutiveExcellence.pdf&rct=j&q=5+stages+of+tribal+leadership&ei=ioeiS5qvG5OXtgf6raD0CQ&usg=AFQjCNFCE9E52WbouI5qW-MlrYEHCvCA1w
For a free audio download of the book Tribal Leadership:
http://www.zappos.com/tribal.zhtml
From the Tribal Leadership website:
---“Since the dawn of civilization people have formed tribes, and research demonstrates that humans are genetically programmed to form into groups. Within every company there are tribes, often several, consisting of 20 to 150 people who know each other and work together. But while everyone tribes, the culture of each tribe is different, as is its effectiveness. Improving a tribe’s culture—and its chances for greater success—requires a tribal leader who not only understands the tribe but can leverage its collective assets to build a greater team.”---
http://www.triballeadership.net/
So there is a solution to every problem and that solution is to look to our ways of living that evolved over thousand, perhaps hundreds of thousands, of years. And everything is supported by cutting edge research in the areas of psychology, biology, science, and spirituality. I’m currently gathering all these like minded individuals to bring about this change in our people, and create a Stage 5 tribal culture for our people.
The best way to do this is to bring back our traditional rites of passages and ceremonies, which have been lost but have also been written down and hidden for when the right time comes. That time is now, and people like Dennis Meeches is on the forefront of this movement, leading the way to a better future for everyone involved.
The means to create this lasting change can be found in the research recorded in the book Influencer – The Power To Change Anything, which documents how people in 2nd and 3rd world countries helped save themselves from diseases, spousal abuse (stemming from a 2000 year old religious belief), and a variety of other negative influences. It presents a complete structural blueprint of the science of change, and takes you step by step through the critical factors behind change and how to apply them to any problem.
http://www.amazon.com/Influencer-Change-Anything-Kerry-Patterson/dp/007148499X
These gifts validate our cultural beliefs we once held and it’s time that we wake up to this reality. The time is urgent, and through all the political rhetoric and posturing on both sides, a light shines forth to awaken people to build bridges of unity. It’s either we heal now, together as a people, or we will die as individuals.
Thank you for listening, and thank you for supporting the heart and soul of our culture.
“A single twig breaks, but the bundle of twigs is strong. Seek to make your life long and of service to your people. Let us form one body, one heart, and defend to the last warrior our country, our homes, our liberty, and the graves of our fathers” - Tecumseh
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
The interview I did with CBC Radio One
This sets the record straight - since the media twisted my words to sensationalize the story, making it sound like I said something that I didn't. This shows who Eric really was and what I plan to do about it.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
The Police Shot And Killed My Brother
... and I forgive them. It still hurts beyond belief, I lost my brother. But life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I respond to it.
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/manitoba/story/2010/03/08/mb-brother-police-shooting-forgiveness-winnipeg.html
I'm taking this incident and running full force with all the plans I've been pursuing the past 7 years. Right now, I'm working with author Sheila Gruenwald and Lefkoe Institute founder Morty Lefkoe to deliver this change. I told Morty about the issues up here in Canada and how his program can help change that, he agreed to give $150,000 of his life changing program to our people.
Many other high profile Aboriginal leaders and Chiefs have been contacting me and enlisting my help with at risk Aboriginal youth. This is exactly what I set out to do years ago... my brother's gift to the world was the changes he leaves behind, so that others don't have to go down the same path.
I'm still in shock and I know there's a lot of pain that I have work through, but going to work for Eric in this way is very healing to me. I miss my brother dearly and love him very much, but I know he came here to do what he had to do.
When my mom last seen him, he came to Winnipeg. "Ok my boy," she told him, "do what you have to do". The day he died, my mom tried to call him and ask him to come home. He didn't answer. He wasn't coming home and I'm glad my mom wasn't let down in that way if he'd answered.
He had a mission in life. He choose to live this life and leave his gifts behind. Even my mom knew that he would help his people in a big way when she was pregnant with him. Now his story is being told across the world and thousands have been changed because of it. This is only the beginning.
I love you Eric. We miss you, but we'll see you again one day.
Here are some of the comments from the news article that are worth listening to:
"Dallas, your position in this tragedy could very possibly put the focus where it belongs-that addiction destroys lives, inflicts pain on the addicted and those around them, and the costs to society are enormous and not just financial. Dallas, if you had come out as angry and bitter instead of loving and forgiving, this story would have a completely different tone."
"Dallas.... I confess that when I heard about your brother, I was judgmental and hard-hearted. Your humanity-- your forgiveness-- broke through to me. Now the main image I have in my mind of your brother is the one you painted of a person who struggled and fell, but above all was LOVED." ... See More
"Dallas Courchene. Celebrate your brothers life and make something positive of this tragic story. You are a positive role model not just for aboriginals but for all young people.
Alcoholism is an uphill battle on a slippery slope. My father has never won his battle and unfortunately never will either as he lost his battle almost 2 years ago. But he was still my father and I saw through his flaws just like he saw through mine. He will never know how powerful an influence he was to me and how proud I was of him. Kudos Dallas, for seeing through your brother's flaws and still seeing him as a person.
Live. Love. Learn."
"I offer Mr. Courchene and his family my condolences and commend him for his courageous response... The entire situation speaks not only to the importance of access to supports for individuals with addictions, but to the personal and community supports that help to prevent people from going down this road in the first place."
"Wow....I am very sorry that you lost your brother, Dallas, but what you are saying and doing will go a long long way to solving our problems. Maybe someday we can go on a canoe trip together and discuss the situation. Take care and good luck."
"My condolences to the family in their loss, and my glass raised in toast to the wise family left behind, and the hopeful friendship between the officers involved and the victim's family."
"Having more people like Dallas and his family would do a lot to solve our problems. Sympathy on your loss one can tell your brother was much loved."
"Dallas Courchene, you and your family are an example of what is good in people."
"Wow!!! Good for you and your family Dallas. I am so sorry you lost your brother due to his addictions... God bless you at this very sad time of loss. You have an Angel in Heaven who is very proud of you."
"First of all, my condolences to Dallas and your family. May you and your family have the love and support of those closest to you."
"This man has taught me a lesson in forgiveness and understanding. All the best to Dallas and his family."
"Forgiving is the first step in dealing with grief. But just because he forgives this does not mean that Dallas is not hurting and is going to easily move on with his life... it was his brother!"
(((MY NOTE: Amen!!!)))... See More
"Wessex, if you would have heard the interview with Dallas that was played on 92.9 (credited to cbc but I can't find it), you would definitely feel terrible.
He gives a very powerful interview about his brother and the whole situation and how he's going to turn this situation around and try to help people... who need help."
"Dallas, you are a BRAVE, intelligent, and insightful Aboriginal man who is an asset to not only YOUR community but the community as a whole.
The real problem here is the violence and addiction that many First Nations people struggle with in the first place. Dallas was attempting to help his brother, which is a good start. People need to support those First Nations people who are TRYING to help themselves.
Dallas, I wish you and your family the best."
"Dallas- You are on the verge of becoming a leader and spokeperson for your people with your insight and wisdom."
"This young man is an insiration to all of us.Untill fist nation can forgive past wrongs we can not move on.All we have from first nation leaders is what happend in the past,we need to move beyond this and start building for the future.Good luck Dallas,I think you should try and move into politics and build a bridge for all Canadians to move forward"
"By standing tall with his own beliefs, and judgment, he distinguishes himself as a true leader. He understands accountability and personal responsibility.
Perhaps some day, enough of his people will want Dallas to be a true leader and Chief of his people, and he will begin to lead them out the dark place that so many of them live.
My condolences to the families involved. I'm proud of you Dallas."
"Dallas, I'm sorry for your loss.
Your words and actions are a huge step forward in breaking the cycle of blame and guilt so ingrained in our culture. Your words provide hope for the future and help break down the racial barriers constantly employed by both sides."
"Very wise man, Mr Courchene. The rest of us could learn a great deal from your forgiveness.
I do fully realize your forgiveness is for ourselves. It sheds us the burden of resentment withour necessarily condoning the actions completely.
I also hope the City will assist you in making up for the loss of your brother. Whoever he may have been or done, he's your brother and my brother too.
One day, a man like you should become a Chief in the native community or someone of influence in the greater communities of ours."
"It would seem that Mr Courchene while speaking for himself, is also speaking for a silent majority of natives who only want peaceful relations between the First Nations and mainstream society, but are intimidated by the rhetoric and posturing by the leadership of their community. Mr Couchene has taken a brave step in speaking out as he did, the risk of ostracism and being branded an apple by his fellow natives in this case is extremely high.
This incident is a tragedy for all involved. Mr Daniels family now have a big hole in their lives that will never be filled, the officers involved will be haunted by this for the rest of their lives.
There is also the fact that a promising young life was lost a long time before Saturday night. The leadership of the native community needs to expend more of their energies preventing youth from falling into the trap Mr Daniels fell into."
"As for Dallas Courchene, I have a lot of respect for him as a person and as an aboriginal. I think he speaks for a majority of aboriginals. This will only bridge the gap for the aboriginals to not be stereotyped in negative ways."
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/manitoba/story/2010/03/08/mb-brother-police-shooting-forgiveness-winnipeg.html
I'm taking this incident and running full force with all the plans I've been pursuing the past 7 years. Right now, I'm working with author Sheila Gruenwald and Lefkoe Institute founder Morty Lefkoe to deliver this change. I told Morty about the issues up here in Canada and how his program can help change that, he agreed to give $150,000 of his life changing program to our people.
Many other high profile Aboriginal leaders and Chiefs have been contacting me and enlisting my help with at risk Aboriginal youth. This is exactly what I set out to do years ago... my brother's gift to the world was the changes he leaves behind, so that others don't have to go down the same path.
I'm still in shock and I know there's a lot of pain that I have work through, but going to work for Eric in this way is very healing to me. I miss my brother dearly and love him very much, but I know he came here to do what he had to do.
When my mom last seen him, he came to Winnipeg. "Ok my boy," she told him, "do what you have to do". The day he died, my mom tried to call him and ask him to come home. He didn't answer. He wasn't coming home and I'm glad my mom wasn't let down in that way if he'd answered.
He had a mission in life. He choose to live this life and leave his gifts behind. Even my mom knew that he would help his people in a big way when she was pregnant with him. Now his story is being told across the world and thousands have been changed because of it. This is only the beginning.
I love you Eric. We miss you, but we'll see you again one day.
Here are some of the comments from the news article that are worth listening to:
"Dallas, your position in this tragedy could very possibly put the focus where it belongs-that addiction destroys lives, inflicts pain on the addicted and those around them, and the costs to society are enormous and not just financial. Dallas, if you had come out as angry and bitter instead of loving and forgiving, this story would have a completely different tone."
"Dallas.... I confess that when I heard about your brother, I was judgmental and hard-hearted. Your humanity-- your forgiveness-- broke through to me. Now the main image I have in my mind of your brother is the one you painted of a person who struggled and fell, but above all was LOVED." ... See More
"Dallas Courchene. Celebrate your brothers life and make something positive of this tragic story. You are a positive role model not just for aboriginals but for all young people.
Alcoholism is an uphill battle on a slippery slope. My father has never won his battle and unfortunately never will either as he lost his battle almost 2 years ago. But he was still my father and I saw through his flaws just like he saw through mine. He will never know how powerful an influence he was to me and how proud I was of him. Kudos Dallas, for seeing through your brother's flaws and still seeing him as a person.
Live. Love. Learn."
"I offer Mr. Courchene and his family my condolences and commend him for his courageous response... The entire situation speaks not only to the importance of access to supports for individuals with addictions, but to the personal and community supports that help to prevent people from going down this road in the first place."
"Wow....I am very sorry that you lost your brother, Dallas, but what you are saying and doing will go a long long way to solving our problems. Maybe someday we can go on a canoe trip together and discuss the situation. Take care and good luck."
"My condolences to the family in their loss, and my glass raised in toast to the wise family left behind, and the hopeful friendship between the officers involved and the victim's family."
"Having more people like Dallas and his family would do a lot to solve our problems. Sympathy on your loss one can tell your brother was much loved."
"Dallas Courchene, you and your family are an example of what is good in people."
"Wow!!! Good for you and your family Dallas. I am so sorry you lost your brother due to his addictions... God bless you at this very sad time of loss. You have an Angel in Heaven who is very proud of you."
"First of all, my condolences to Dallas and your family. May you and your family have the love and support of those closest to you."
"This man has taught me a lesson in forgiveness and understanding. All the best to Dallas and his family."
"Forgiving is the first step in dealing with grief. But just because he forgives this does not mean that Dallas is not hurting and is going to easily move on with his life... it was his brother!"
(((MY NOTE: Amen!!!)))... See More
"Wessex, if you would have heard the interview with Dallas that was played on 92.9 (credited to cbc but I can't find it), you would definitely feel terrible.
He gives a very powerful interview about his brother and the whole situation and how he's going to turn this situation around and try to help people... who need help."
"Dallas, you are a BRAVE, intelligent, and insightful Aboriginal man who is an asset to not only YOUR community but the community as a whole.
The real problem here is the violence and addiction that many First Nations people struggle with in the first place. Dallas was attempting to help his brother, which is a good start. People need to support those First Nations people who are TRYING to help themselves.
Dallas, I wish you and your family the best."
"Dallas- You are on the verge of becoming a leader and spokeperson for your people with your insight and wisdom."
"This young man is an insiration to all of us.Untill fist nation can forgive past wrongs we can not move on.All we have from first nation leaders is what happend in the past,we need to move beyond this and start building for the future.Good luck Dallas,I think you should try and move into politics and build a bridge for all Canadians to move forward"
"By standing tall with his own beliefs, and judgment, he distinguishes himself as a true leader. He understands accountability and personal responsibility.
Perhaps some day, enough of his people will want Dallas to be a true leader and Chief of his people, and he will begin to lead them out the dark place that so many of them live.
My condolences to the families involved. I'm proud of you Dallas."
"Dallas, I'm sorry for your loss.
Your words and actions are a huge step forward in breaking the cycle of blame and guilt so ingrained in our culture. Your words provide hope for the future and help break down the racial barriers constantly employed by both sides."
"Very wise man, Mr Courchene. The rest of us could learn a great deal from your forgiveness.
I do fully realize your forgiveness is for ourselves. It sheds us the burden of resentment withour necessarily condoning the actions completely.
I also hope the City will assist you in making up for the loss of your brother. Whoever he may have been or done, he's your brother and my brother too.
One day, a man like you should become a Chief in the native community or someone of influence in the greater communities of ours."
"It would seem that Mr Courchene while speaking for himself, is also speaking for a silent majority of natives who only want peaceful relations between the First Nations and mainstream society, but are intimidated by the rhetoric and posturing by the leadership of their community. Mr Couchene has taken a brave step in speaking out as he did, the risk of ostracism and being branded an apple by his fellow natives in this case is extremely high.
This incident is a tragedy for all involved. Mr Daniels family now have a big hole in their lives that will never be filled, the officers involved will be haunted by this for the rest of their lives.
There is also the fact that a promising young life was lost a long time before Saturday night. The leadership of the native community needs to expend more of their energies preventing youth from falling into the trap Mr Daniels fell into."
"As for Dallas Courchene, I have a lot of respect for him as a person and as an aboriginal. I think he speaks for a majority of aboriginals. This will only bridge the gap for the aboriginals to not be stereotyped in negative ways."
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
The illusion of Life and Death
Great art and music are expressions of our infinite creativity in limited, solid form. Humans can only experience it in tiny parcels like that to protect us from destruction. Our limited minds can’t fully grasp the vastness of the infinite. But we enjoy that beauty in limited form because it’s like a postcard from home saying “Wish you were here”.
Our Ego covers and hides our true selves and our creativity. This begins early in life from parents and society “Don’t do that! No! Stop! You can’t do that! Be ‘good’!” The idea to “Be good” is really saying “You are not good enough”. This limits our natural spontaneity and creativity to a limited, solid form. Our true selves (happiness, health and wealth) are then stifled.
Overcoming your Ego and finding your true self unlocks the creativity inherent in your being. This comes with ‘suffering’ because we need that energy to transform it into strength needed to make the shift. Child birth is a painful experience at first – just like bringing your infinite true self into this world of limited, solid form.
In this physical world, it appears that there are things such as life and death because we don’t see the invisible forms that everything changes into. Really, there is only transformation. Science now shows us that energy cannot be created nor destroyed; only transformed. What we perceive as death is merely transformation into another form. We never really lose anything, only the illusion of solid forms.
You can see this design of transformation everywhere. Our sun is constant “destruction”, like one huge nuclear explosion. But really, it’s just transforming its energy and emitting it in many different forms; radiation, heat, visible / infrared / ultraviolet light. That constant “destruction” is used for life on our planet.
Carbon dioxide, which causes death to us, is what trees need to live and produce oxygen, which we in turn need to breathe for life. Everything in existence relies on another – remove something and the whole system falls apart. We are more one with the entire universe than we realize. Life and Death, like all things, are one – transformation, the eternal process of creation.
Modern society prevents our soul’s expression (creation) and transforms it into hate and further destruction of our inter-dependent system. The result is war, stealing, fighting and arguing. People then fight for wealth, health and happiness – rather than creating and sharing with others which would create even more.
We have full control of this transformation process - to prevent a soul’s expression is to prevent creation and without proper transformation of energy, everything falls apart. Take out carbon dioxide and plants die.
This is why it’s important to have self esteem and unconditional love. With self esteem, we allow ourselves to be and accept ourselves as is – fully – without forcing and needing ourselves to live up to limited forms of Ego. You then create your own happiness, health, wealth and love – regardless of your life situation, result or appearance.
Unconditional love enables you to accept others for who they are, preventing the formation of their Ego. This love also transforms them into and allows them to see who they really are – co-creators of happiness, joy, health, wealth and abundance with the rest of existence.
This is why we need and will always have loss, death and suffering. We need that energy to transform it into life and happiness. All the people that have done great things with their lives have been motivated by great amounts of pain, suffering and injustice.
After learning to create through desperation, we can then start creating through inspiration – removing the illusion of loss, death and limitation. Transformation and creation is above death and limitation. But this won’t create a paradise on Earth.
If we had nothing but happiness, joy and love on Earth, we would then have no need to create new things to benefit others. We would have no purpose because we would have everything we would need and the creation process would end. Everything in existence relies on everything else; pain and pleasure... life and death.
Our Ego covers and hides our true selves and our creativity. This begins early in life from parents and society “Don’t do that! No! Stop! You can’t do that! Be ‘good’!” The idea to “Be good” is really saying “You are not good enough”. This limits our natural spontaneity and creativity to a limited, solid form. Our true selves (happiness, health and wealth) are then stifled.
Overcoming your Ego and finding your true self unlocks the creativity inherent in your being. This comes with ‘suffering’ because we need that energy to transform it into strength needed to make the shift. Child birth is a painful experience at first – just like bringing your infinite true self into this world of limited, solid form.
In this physical world, it appears that there are things such as life and death because we don’t see the invisible forms that everything changes into. Really, there is only transformation. Science now shows us that energy cannot be created nor destroyed; only transformed. What we perceive as death is merely transformation into another form. We never really lose anything, only the illusion of solid forms.
You can see this design of transformation everywhere. Our sun is constant “destruction”, like one huge nuclear explosion. But really, it’s just transforming its energy and emitting it in many different forms; radiation, heat, visible / infrared / ultraviolet light. That constant “destruction” is used for life on our planet.
Carbon dioxide, which causes death to us, is what trees need to live and produce oxygen, which we in turn need to breathe for life. Everything in existence relies on another – remove something and the whole system falls apart. We are more one with the entire universe than we realize. Life and Death, like all things, are one – transformation, the eternal process of creation.
Modern society prevents our soul’s expression (creation) and transforms it into hate and further destruction of our inter-dependent system. The result is war, stealing, fighting and arguing. People then fight for wealth, health and happiness – rather than creating and sharing with others which would create even more.
We have full control of this transformation process - to prevent a soul’s expression is to prevent creation and without proper transformation of energy, everything falls apart. Take out carbon dioxide and plants die.
This is why it’s important to have self esteem and unconditional love. With self esteem, we allow ourselves to be and accept ourselves as is – fully – without forcing and needing ourselves to live up to limited forms of Ego. You then create your own happiness, health, wealth and love – regardless of your life situation, result or appearance.
Unconditional love enables you to accept others for who they are, preventing the formation of their Ego. This love also transforms them into and allows them to see who they really are – co-creators of happiness, joy, health, wealth and abundance with the rest of existence.
This is why we need and will always have loss, death and suffering. We need that energy to transform it into life and happiness. All the people that have done great things with their lives have been motivated by great amounts of pain, suffering and injustice.
After learning to create through desperation, we can then start creating through inspiration – removing the illusion of loss, death and limitation. Transformation and creation is above death and limitation. But this won’t create a paradise on Earth.
If we had nothing but happiness, joy and love on Earth, we would then have no need to create new things to benefit others. We would have no purpose because we would have everything we would need and the creation process would end. Everything in existence relies on everything else; pain and pleasure... life and death.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Q and A - Wealth, Health, Love and Fulfillment
Okay, you better be ready for this. Not many people are. This article will shatter every idea of yourself, your reality and your future. In a good way. It'll hurt so good (not to insinuate you're into that kind of stuff or anything...)
Highest probability: you've NEVER heard anything like this before. Lowest probability: you've NEVER heard anything like this before.
WARNING: DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE AS IT IS NOW. YOU WILL NO LONGER BE SATISFIED WITH AVERAGE. YOU WILL DEMAND THE BEST IN LIFE AND WILL NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING BUT THE BEST OF THE BEST.
What exactly is the Ego?
The Ego is a false sense of self created at a young age as the only way to feel good about ourselves. It’s created in order to make sense of our parents’ seemingly illogical actions – one minute they love us, the next hate; Yes, No, I love you, go away. The Residential Schools was an extreme version of this and explains why the resulting problems plague Aboriginals everywhere to this day.
Most parents take out their anger on their children or handle them angrily when they are in a bad mood. A young child doesn’t understand the stresses of adulthood, so in order to make sense of the situation the child thinks “It must be ME that’s causing that”. Punishment has the same effect (see my article Punishment Vs Discipline).
The very same negative behavior parents dislike is reinforced when parents lash out on their children then later apologize and tell them they love them. This teaches children to misbehave and to cry in order to get attention and love (it seems like the only consistent way of getting it). This is why many women stay in abusive relationships and why those men abuse them. It's what they're used to and what they've learned through Observational Learning.
If this continues throughout childhood, the only logical thought becomes “I’M a bad person. I must do something in order for others to approve of me”. This is the wounded Ego and causes the creation of Inner Shadows (more on this in future articles).
The false Ego causes your entire sense of self and happiness to come from something outside your control (money, some event, other’s approval, ect). It causes you to feel you need to do something in order to feel you are something (such as happy, good, ect).
Even finding about punishment and its effects on children makes most parents feel guilty. This is their Ego causing that pain (needing to measure up to some standard to consider ourselves “good”... needing to do something). Self Esteem’s only standard is life and the only requirement is to be.
What is Self Esteem?
To esteem something means to value to it and to think “This is good, I like this”. To esteem yourself is to value yourself for who you are – not what you do. This means you feel good about who you are even if you fail, don’t measure up or are insulted. It doesn’t even affect your level of happiness or Self Esteem because it’s YOU who esteems yourself, not someone else or some event.
Self-Confidence is often confused with Self Esteem. To be confident means to feel good knowing that you can do something. Can a baby do anything? Not really. Then why do we value them? It’s because people value life, life is the Primary Value – what one can do as a result of being alive is Secondary Value. Life is valuable. Your life is valuable. You are valuable. Value yourself.
Let me tell you something. If you were in a desert and haven’t seen anyone in months when you suddenly come across someone, you’d most likely want to stay near them. Not because of what they can give you (Secondary Value), but simply because they managed to survive and are alive. Life is the Primary Value.
Being able to do or gain something can only happen if we have life (only if we are). People go wrong when their Primary Value becomes what they can do, what they have or what they are experiencing (which is Secondary Value). Why? Four reasons:
1. We are NOT what we can do, what we have, or what we experience – for that can change
2. It replaces a constant Self Esteem with an unstable, inconsistent Ego that depends on validation that is there one day, gone the next
3. They miss what’s really important – family, friends and community (life)
4. It makes people constantly look for some future event outside themselves which causes them to not appreciate their life right now – as is (not valuing their Primary Value – life)
What you do and what you experience comes as a natural result of who you are (or in the cause of the Ego, who you think you are). You can’t say to your muscles “My muscles are so (big/small)... stop doing that” simply because they aren’t doing anything... they just are. What you can do with your muscles comes as a Secondary result of them being that way. The Secondary Value they provide comes from what they are - the Primary.
Esteem your Primary Value (your life, yourself, your time) and the Secondary Value (wealth, health and love) will come as a natural result of who you are. And when it comes, you realize you’ll don’t need it to feel great because your Primary Value provides that (you’ll learn this without learning it the hard way like Kurt Cobain, Marilyn Monroe and Anna Nicole Smith).
Also, the negative actions of other people will no longer stress you as much (if at all) AND you’ll be able to influence them to create positive events just by being you. Who you are creates what you experience. Many people just don’t know how this works.
Why should I care if I have an Ego?
Your Ego is the one and only source of ALL your suffering and pain. You may think “No, in my case, someone or something else caused my suffering”. I’m here to suggest that it’s not events that upset you, it’s the views your Ego takes of them.
Let me ask you something; as a 2 month old baby, did you care if someone called you dumb? Of course not... you didn’t even know what the word meant. The event itself doesn’t make you feel bad – it’s your thoughts about it that does. It’s only after your Ego decided that dumb was bad that you felt bad when someone called you that (threatening your Ego).
On the flipside: what if some crazy homeless person came up to you and said, “You’re the greatest person in the world. I know it because God told me” would you feel good about yourself? Probably not.
If you think a person’s opinion isn’t true, you won’t feel good about yourself even when they praise you. It’s your thoughts about it that cause your emotions. The event itself can’t make you feel anything, it’s how you interpret the event that does.
So what does that have to do with anything? It means that you may not have control over what happens to you, but you do have full control over what those events mean to you. You create how you feel how you feel at all times. So that means you can feel great without needing anything or even when your life is a complete hell.
It’s simple but not easy – at first. After you get the hang of it, it becomes an automatic part of who you are. You no longer have to do anything to be happy... you just are happy. And you won’t need anything outside yourself to feel that way. You won’t need money, some event or anything else going good for you to feel great. Not only that, but negative situations will no longer affect you as much, if at all.
It’s only after your false Ego is out of the way that you can uncover your authentic Self Esteem, happiness and fulfillment.
So how exactly am I in full control of my own happiness and sadness?
What causes feelings of happiness and anger are merely chemicals in your brain – inside you (not outside, in some event). They are triggered by what you think about the event you’re facing.
To value, say, ice cream would trigger those happiness chemicals when you are eating ice cream. It’s not the ice cream that triggers it, it’s your liking of it that does. If the positive evaluation wasn’t there, the ice cream would no longer trigger those feelings.
You can actively decide what is valuable to you and you can choose to see things you dislike differently (thus changing how you feel about them and how they affect you). This means you can have full control over how and when you feel happy.
The real kicker is that you can feel great all day, all the time, without being at the mercy of things outside yourself. And nothing outside you would be able to change that (if it does, it doesn’t stay that way for long).
Let me put it this way: when you are happy, you think happy thoughts. When you are angry, you think angry thoughts. You can’t think happy thoughts while angry and expect to suddenly be happy. Secondary results cannot create Primary causes; doing doesn’t create being (only a hollow imitation of being). Without the first, the Secondary cannot happen; being is doing.
Likewise, you can’t expect to run away from negative events while chasing after money, fame, some experience, ect (Secondary Values) and have that cause happiness or fulfillment (Primary Value). Be happy and fulfilled now and positive Secondary Value will naturally come as a result of who you are. You will then be able to fully enjoy and share those Secondary things with others.
Just how do I become happy and fulfilled now?
Let go of your Ego. Uncover your Self Esteem. Make your life and yourself your Primary Value. Be fully present in the moment. Need nothing. Accept everything. Be you and create what you want.
Is it really that simple?
Yes. It’s simple, but not easy at first. It isn’t a matter of learning; it’s a matter of unlearning. Educate in Greek means “to draw forth from within”. Happiness and fulfillment comes from within. You must remember how to do that and become as creative, spontaneous, believing and loving as a child again.
If you were wounded as a child, then you must first undergo a process that will enable you to let go of those negative emotions and come to terms with your past. This healing results in forgiveness and lets your natural self come through (creativity, happiness, health, wealth and love).
How does wealth fit into the equation?
Life is the Primary Value. Many people hate their lives, so they seek reasons to like them. They were taught at a young age that who they were wasn’t good enough – that they weren’t valuable. So they then use outer things as a reason to feel valuable and important (Ego). They feel they need to do something in order to feel they are something.
In effect, they stop valuing their lives (their Primary Value) and start seeking the rewards that would come naturally if they just valued their lives. So even if you get those Secondary things you’ll still hate your life (like Kurt Cobain).
Some people will then think, “Well, if I had a reason to value my life, I would. If I had money, ect, ect, I would then value my time and my life”. But it’s that very thinking that causes their suffering in the first place (Ego). With Ego, people need reasons to feel valuable and important – they need to do something in order to be it.
Life should be a value in and of itself if you want lasting happiness, wealth and fulfillment. Life enables you to achieve money, fame, respect, ect. Without life, nothing can be achieved and those outer things are useless. Your life is the source of it all. Value it fully and those outer things come naturally as a result of who you are.
A very funny thing happens when you begin to value yourself and your life. You begin to want the best for yourself and others and then seek to create wealth because you feel entitled to it, not because you feel you need it to enhance your life (you know your life is valuable enough as is).
You then come to the world looking to give rather than take. And when you give, it’s value in other people’s lives which they exchange Secondary Value for (money). This is how money is literally created... creating and then exchanging value. Life is the Primary Value – it’s where all other value flows from, including money.
This is why doctors and surgeons get paid so much - they save lives. Just look at any profession today that improves the lives of others. The is also why actors, singers and writers get paid so much - people value the beauty and glorification of life. Poets and actors help inspire people to achieve more in life.
So how do I use this information to become wealthy?
In order to give value, you must first possess it. People exchange money for anything that causes them happiness or pleasure. And if you help others generate Secondary Value (rather than just giving them it), they’ll exchange huge sums of money for that.
By improving other people’s lives (because life is valuable), people are willing to exchange Secondary Value for it (money, work, respect, material objects, ect). And by improving their lives, they generate more Secondary Value for themselves and others. The cycle then continues, becomes self-perpetuating and wealth is created by creating it for everyone else.
Your Life Purpose naturally benefits others (I talk about this in my article on Social Learning and a few others). It is also the very thing you want most in life, so living your Purpose isn't something that's hard... in fact it's the only fulfilling thing there is in life (because it brings us closer to those we care about most).
People think, “Well, if I did value myself and my life as is, then money would be a great addition to my life”. Nope. It only makes your life more complicated and much more difficult. When you have large amounts of money, certain things happen:
1. People envy you. You lose friends. Even your family may begin to become very jealous, mistakenly thinking life is somehow easier on you now
2. You have to learn how to keep it (or lose it all). This takes discipline, hard work and continued effort on a daily basis
3. Because you have more money, you then have more desires... if you try to fulfill all your desires, you’ll be broke in no time. Being rich means giving up a LOT of desires
4. You have to keep changing and tending to your source of income or it’ll stop producing – I don’t even have the time to go into all the aspects and work involved with this one (there are many books out there that do)
5. Mo money, mo problems. Being broke is a LOT easier – you enjoy the little things more and your friends want to help you out rather than being envious of you
6. You may lose your privacy over your own life and people constantly judge and want to insult you as a way of making their Ego’s feel better about themselves
7. You live in constant fear of losing the lifestyle you’ve become accustomed to
In short, becoming rich isn’t for someone values Secondary Value more than their Primary. But if you have Self Esteem, the negative aspects of wealth don’t matter because events can’t cause you to feel good or bad. Your Self Esteem and your Life Purpose is the source of all Wealth, Health, Love and Fulfillment, not anything outside yourself.
Highest probability: you've NEVER heard anything like this before. Lowest probability: you've NEVER heard anything like this before.
WARNING: DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE AS IT IS NOW. YOU WILL NO LONGER BE SATISFIED WITH AVERAGE. YOU WILL DEMAND THE BEST IN LIFE AND WILL NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING BUT THE BEST OF THE BEST.
What exactly is the Ego?
The Ego is a false sense of self created at a young age as the only way to feel good about ourselves. It’s created in order to make sense of our parents’ seemingly illogical actions – one minute they love us, the next hate; Yes, No, I love you, go away. The Residential Schools was an extreme version of this and explains why the resulting problems plague Aboriginals everywhere to this day.
Most parents take out their anger on their children or handle them angrily when they are in a bad mood. A young child doesn’t understand the stresses of adulthood, so in order to make sense of the situation the child thinks “It must be ME that’s causing that”. Punishment has the same effect (see my article Punishment Vs Discipline).
The very same negative behavior parents dislike is reinforced when parents lash out on their children then later apologize and tell them they love them. This teaches children to misbehave and to cry in order to get attention and love (it seems like the only consistent way of getting it). This is why many women stay in abusive relationships and why those men abuse them. It's what they're used to and what they've learned through Observational Learning.
If this continues throughout childhood, the only logical thought becomes “I’M a bad person. I must do something in order for others to approve of me”. This is the wounded Ego and causes the creation of Inner Shadows (more on this in future articles).
The false Ego causes your entire sense of self and happiness to come from something outside your control (money, some event, other’s approval, ect). It causes you to feel you need to do something in order to feel you are something (such as happy, good, ect).
Even finding about punishment and its effects on children makes most parents feel guilty. This is their Ego causing that pain (needing to measure up to some standard to consider ourselves “good”... needing to do something). Self Esteem’s only standard is life and the only requirement is to be.
What is Self Esteem?
To esteem something means to value to it and to think “This is good, I like this”. To esteem yourself is to value yourself for who you are – not what you do. This means you feel good about who you are even if you fail, don’t measure up or are insulted. It doesn’t even affect your level of happiness or Self Esteem because it’s YOU who esteems yourself, not someone else or some event.
Self-Confidence is often confused with Self Esteem. To be confident means to feel good knowing that you can do something. Can a baby do anything? Not really. Then why do we value them? It’s because people value life, life is the Primary Value – what one can do as a result of being alive is Secondary Value. Life is valuable. Your life is valuable. You are valuable. Value yourself.
Let me tell you something. If you were in a desert and haven’t seen anyone in months when you suddenly come across someone, you’d most likely want to stay near them. Not because of what they can give you (Secondary Value), but simply because they managed to survive and are alive. Life is the Primary Value.
Being able to do or gain something can only happen if we have life (only if we are). People go wrong when their Primary Value becomes what they can do, what they have or what they are experiencing (which is Secondary Value). Why? Four reasons:
1. We are NOT what we can do, what we have, or what we experience – for that can change
2. It replaces a constant Self Esteem with an unstable, inconsistent Ego that depends on validation that is there one day, gone the next
3. They miss what’s really important – family, friends and community (life)
4. It makes people constantly look for some future event outside themselves which causes them to not appreciate their life right now – as is (not valuing their Primary Value – life)
What you do and what you experience comes as a natural result of who you are (or in the cause of the Ego, who you think you are). You can’t say to your muscles “My muscles are so (big/small)... stop doing that” simply because they aren’t doing anything... they just are. What you can do with your muscles comes as a Secondary result of them being that way. The Secondary Value they provide comes from what they are - the Primary.
Esteem your Primary Value (your life, yourself, your time) and the Secondary Value (wealth, health and love) will come as a natural result of who you are. And when it comes, you realize you’ll don’t need it to feel great because your Primary Value provides that (you’ll learn this without learning it the hard way like Kurt Cobain, Marilyn Monroe and Anna Nicole Smith).
Also, the negative actions of other people will no longer stress you as much (if at all) AND you’ll be able to influence them to create positive events just by being you. Who you are creates what you experience. Many people just don’t know how this works.
Why should I care if I have an Ego?
Your Ego is the one and only source of ALL your suffering and pain. You may think “No, in my case, someone or something else caused my suffering”. I’m here to suggest that it’s not events that upset you, it’s the views your Ego takes of them.
Let me ask you something; as a 2 month old baby, did you care if someone called you dumb? Of course not... you didn’t even know what the word meant. The event itself doesn’t make you feel bad – it’s your thoughts about it that does. It’s only after your Ego decided that dumb was bad that you felt bad when someone called you that (threatening your Ego).
On the flipside: what if some crazy homeless person came up to you and said, “You’re the greatest person in the world. I know it because God told me” would you feel good about yourself? Probably not.
If you think a person’s opinion isn’t true, you won’t feel good about yourself even when they praise you. It’s your thoughts about it that cause your emotions. The event itself can’t make you feel anything, it’s how you interpret the event that does.
So what does that have to do with anything? It means that you may not have control over what happens to you, but you do have full control over what those events mean to you. You create how you feel how you feel at all times. So that means you can feel great without needing anything or even when your life is a complete hell.
It’s simple but not easy – at first. After you get the hang of it, it becomes an automatic part of who you are. You no longer have to do anything to be happy... you just are happy. And you won’t need anything outside yourself to feel that way. You won’t need money, some event or anything else going good for you to feel great. Not only that, but negative situations will no longer affect you as much, if at all.
It’s only after your false Ego is out of the way that you can uncover your authentic Self Esteem, happiness and fulfillment.
So how exactly am I in full control of my own happiness and sadness?
What causes feelings of happiness and anger are merely chemicals in your brain – inside you (not outside, in some event). They are triggered by what you think about the event you’re facing.
To value, say, ice cream would trigger those happiness chemicals when you are eating ice cream. It’s not the ice cream that triggers it, it’s your liking of it that does. If the positive evaluation wasn’t there, the ice cream would no longer trigger those feelings.
You can actively decide what is valuable to you and you can choose to see things you dislike differently (thus changing how you feel about them and how they affect you). This means you can have full control over how and when you feel happy.
The real kicker is that you can feel great all day, all the time, without being at the mercy of things outside yourself. And nothing outside you would be able to change that (if it does, it doesn’t stay that way for long).
Let me put it this way: when you are happy, you think happy thoughts. When you are angry, you think angry thoughts. You can’t think happy thoughts while angry and expect to suddenly be happy. Secondary results cannot create Primary causes; doing doesn’t create being (only a hollow imitation of being). Without the first, the Secondary cannot happen; being is doing.
Likewise, you can’t expect to run away from negative events while chasing after money, fame, some experience, ect (Secondary Values) and have that cause happiness or fulfillment (Primary Value). Be happy and fulfilled now and positive Secondary Value will naturally come as a result of who you are. You will then be able to fully enjoy and share those Secondary things with others.
Just how do I become happy and fulfilled now?
Let go of your Ego. Uncover your Self Esteem. Make your life and yourself your Primary Value. Be fully present in the moment. Need nothing. Accept everything. Be you and create what you want.
Is it really that simple?
Yes. It’s simple, but not easy at first. It isn’t a matter of learning; it’s a matter of unlearning. Educate in Greek means “to draw forth from within”. Happiness and fulfillment comes from within. You must remember how to do that and become as creative, spontaneous, believing and loving as a child again.
If you were wounded as a child, then you must first undergo a process that will enable you to let go of those negative emotions and come to terms with your past. This healing results in forgiveness and lets your natural self come through (creativity, happiness, health, wealth and love).
How does wealth fit into the equation?
Life is the Primary Value. Many people hate their lives, so they seek reasons to like them. They were taught at a young age that who they were wasn’t good enough – that they weren’t valuable. So they then use outer things as a reason to feel valuable and important (Ego). They feel they need to do something in order to feel they are something.
In effect, they stop valuing their lives (their Primary Value) and start seeking the rewards that would come naturally if they just valued their lives. So even if you get those Secondary things you’ll still hate your life (like Kurt Cobain).
Some people will then think, “Well, if I had a reason to value my life, I would. If I had money, ect, ect, I would then value my time and my life”. But it’s that very thinking that causes their suffering in the first place (Ego). With Ego, people need reasons to feel valuable and important – they need to do something in order to be it.
Life should be a value in and of itself if you want lasting happiness, wealth and fulfillment. Life enables you to achieve money, fame, respect, ect. Without life, nothing can be achieved and those outer things are useless. Your life is the source of it all. Value it fully and those outer things come naturally as a result of who you are.
A very funny thing happens when you begin to value yourself and your life. You begin to want the best for yourself and others and then seek to create wealth because you feel entitled to it, not because you feel you need it to enhance your life (you know your life is valuable enough as is).
You then come to the world looking to give rather than take. And when you give, it’s value in other people’s lives which they exchange Secondary Value for (money). This is how money is literally created... creating and then exchanging value. Life is the Primary Value – it’s where all other value flows from, including money.
This is why doctors and surgeons get paid so much - they save lives. Just look at any profession today that improves the lives of others. The is also why actors, singers and writers get paid so much - people value the beauty and glorification of life. Poets and actors help inspire people to achieve more in life.
So how do I use this information to become wealthy?
In order to give value, you must first possess it. People exchange money for anything that causes them happiness or pleasure. And if you help others generate Secondary Value (rather than just giving them it), they’ll exchange huge sums of money for that.
By improving other people’s lives (because life is valuable), people are willing to exchange Secondary Value for it (money, work, respect, material objects, ect). And by improving their lives, they generate more Secondary Value for themselves and others. The cycle then continues, becomes self-perpetuating and wealth is created by creating it for everyone else.
Your Life Purpose naturally benefits others (I talk about this in my article on Social Learning and a few others). It is also the very thing you want most in life, so living your Purpose isn't something that's hard... in fact it's the only fulfilling thing there is in life (because it brings us closer to those we care about most).
People think, “Well, if I did value myself and my life as is, then money would be a great addition to my life”. Nope. It only makes your life more complicated and much more difficult. When you have large amounts of money, certain things happen:
1. People envy you. You lose friends. Even your family may begin to become very jealous, mistakenly thinking life is somehow easier on you now
2. You have to learn how to keep it (or lose it all). This takes discipline, hard work and continued effort on a daily basis
3. Because you have more money, you then have more desires... if you try to fulfill all your desires, you’ll be broke in no time. Being rich means giving up a LOT of desires
4. You have to keep changing and tending to your source of income or it’ll stop producing – I don’t even have the time to go into all the aspects and work involved with this one (there are many books out there that do)
5. Mo money, mo problems. Being broke is a LOT easier – you enjoy the little things more and your friends want to help you out rather than being envious of you
6. You may lose your privacy over your own life and people constantly judge and want to insult you as a way of making their Ego’s feel better about themselves
7. You live in constant fear of losing the lifestyle you’ve become accustomed to
In short, becoming rich isn’t for someone values Secondary Value more than their Primary. But if you have Self Esteem, the negative aspects of wealth don’t matter because events can’t cause you to feel good or bad. Your Self Esteem and your Life Purpose is the source of all Wealth, Health, Love and Fulfillment, not anything outside yourself.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Punishment Vs Discipline
(Keep in mind the punishment dealt from the Residential Schools, prison systems, your own life, ect while reading this article)
The underlying message of punishment is “You can’t do this, you are bad for doing this”, while discipline says “This is what you can do. You can take pride in doing this”. Discipline delivers the message that punishment fails to get across – that one should make the best decisions for themselves and take responsibility for their actions.
Discipline retains people’s sense of choice and control. Depression and anger comes from feeling we have no choice and makes people feel like helpless victims or (dangerous) cornered wolves.
The root word for discipline is disciple or follower. This means you discipline through being the example without forcing anyone. By being the example without pressure (but providing necessary guidance of course), often people then make the best choices or even make other equally positive choices through positive Observational Learning.
The result is a developed self esteem and strong sense of identity and integrity. This sets the foundation that will enable people to aim high and achieve much with their lives. And when they get to that position, they can say “I did this, I made this happen. This is what I wanted to do”. This gives more sense of choice and control over life and pleasure which results in self esteem and happiness.
Happiness, joy, depression and aggression are directly controlled by your sense or lack of control over your pleasure and quality of life. If you feel like your life and future will only cause pain and you have no choice in the matter, you become either depressed or angry. We then look to steal, take, force or buy happiness at any cost. The result is drugs, alcohol, crime and violence.
When one feels like they have no control, one either passively suffers with depression or aggressively fights and resists in an attempt to regain control. Either choice only causes more negative situations, now and later, which then only compounds those bad feelings even further. This is where the downward spiral begins.
Your Ego is then created or strengthened for a sense of stability in a seemingly unpredictable, uncontrollable and hostile world. Ego causes the need to measure up to some external result, image or condition for a sense of identity, security and happiness.
The problem is that nothing external is forever. That means your Ego cause you suffering when things inevitably don’t go your way. Self esteem doesn’t need those external things to provide happiness. It’s all internal and completely under your control... your complete choice. You just need to understand how it’s created and sustained.
Principles, values, knowledge of Laws [cause and effect] and proven strategies provide the missing inner foundation for happiness, security, success and self esteem. All the rewards of taking responsibility over our inner life are wealth and fulfillment.
This is how to take further choice and control over your happiness and success – control that is not dependent on anything or anyone else. The upward spiral then begins – each accomplishment feeds into and magnifies the next and you become the sole creator of your happiness, respect and wealth.
To further add to the rewards, when one begins to get pleasure from taking the right actions, it adds the fuel and motivation needed to achieve many great things for ourselves and others. All these right actions flow naturally from living our Life Purpose. Living our Purpose then creates even more wealth, health, love and fulfillment.
But because of modern society and the Residential Schools, that negative Observational Learning has blinded people to these liberating facts. When you are so used to seeing life one way, it’s at first difficult to see it in another way – even if that way is more beneficial.
Permanent change is made possible considerably faster through guidance from mentors. This mentoring saves years of failure and frustration from not knowing where the obstacles and pitfalls are. Sometimes people try to change only to be met with failure after frustrating failure. A good mentor can eliminate this failure for good and speed the whole process up tremendously.
The tribal system we once had, made use of processes of change that have been refined over more than 10,000 years. Role models in the community provide the example and influences and improves the lives of the next generation through positive Observational Learning. This is why “it takes a village to raise a child”.
Constantly improving yourself helps tremendously because perfection is an illusion. Perfection makes our life situation a constant disappointment and makes your happiness dependent on things beyond your control and your sense of choice.
A healthy and satisfying view to life is aiming for excellence in your passion and Life Purpose. You may fall down and fail, but the goal is mastery, not a lack of failure (which is nearly impossible). Happiness then becomes the Journey, not some distant Destination that never will be reached. Your Purpose is everything you really want in life and in our day and age you can find nearly unlimited ways in expressing that purpose for the benefit of all of society. That kind of value is what people pay good money for.
This is also were your creativity comes into play. When you feel good about who you are, you allow your natural talents and gifts to come through. Your Purpose, self chosen values and soul’s creativity flourishes because you no longer holding onto those Egoic ways of judging yourself. You allow your true self to be and create new things of benefit for society. This is what’s really valuable to people because it’s so “rare” and “unique”. Modern society prevents many people from being their true selves.
Living your Purpose allows you to live in complete happiness, fulfillment and wealth. Money, those pieces of paper with ink on them, is simply used to exchange value. Your Life Purpose and passion naturally adds to the wellbeing of society – which is value for others and is why you can literally create huge amounts of wealth. Anyone can develop their talents and be given money in exchange for the valuable end result. But to stop growing to is to stop the natural flow of life and ‘death’ occurs. Muscles not exercised break down.
It’s common for people to feel bad when they realize they were working in the wrong direction or to think that they’re lives just got more complicated. In reality, their lives are complicated because of working against the laws of life for so long. Getting leverage means to do more with less and less. You just have to understand how it works and use it in the key areas.
But a lot of people never even realize these things and die unfulfilled and incomplete. You could possibly save yourself from literally decades of needless pain and suffering. And you can do so by taking advantage of the experience and knowledge of mentors who’ve already taken years to get there (saving you years of frustration and struggle). Your level of success, ultimately, is completely your choice.
The underlying message of punishment is “You can’t do this, you are bad for doing this”, while discipline says “This is what you can do. You can take pride in doing this”. Discipline delivers the message that punishment fails to get across – that one should make the best decisions for themselves and take responsibility for their actions.
Discipline retains people’s sense of choice and control. Depression and anger comes from feeling we have no choice and makes people feel like helpless victims or (dangerous) cornered wolves.
The root word for discipline is disciple or follower. This means you discipline through being the example without forcing anyone. By being the example without pressure (but providing necessary guidance of course), often people then make the best choices or even make other equally positive choices through positive Observational Learning.
The result is a developed self esteem and strong sense of identity and integrity. This sets the foundation that will enable people to aim high and achieve much with their lives. And when they get to that position, they can say “I did this, I made this happen. This is what I wanted to do”. This gives more sense of choice and control over life and pleasure which results in self esteem and happiness.
Happiness, joy, depression and aggression are directly controlled by your sense or lack of control over your pleasure and quality of life. If you feel like your life and future will only cause pain and you have no choice in the matter, you become either depressed or angry. We then look to steal, take, force or buy happiness at any cost. The result is drugs, alcohol, crime and violence.
When one feels like they have no control, one either passively suffers with depression or aggressively fights and resists in an attempt to regain control. Either choice only causes more negative situations, now and later, which then only compounds those bad feelings even further. This is where the downward spiral begins.
Your Ego is then created or strengthened for a sense of stability in a seemingly unpredictable, uncontrollable and hostile world. Ego causes the need to measure up to some external result, image or condition for a sense of identity, security and happiness.
The problem is that nothing external is forever. That means your Ego cause you suffering when things inevitably don’t go your way. Self esteem doesn’t need those external things to provide happiness. It’s all internal and completely under your control... your complete choice. You just need to understand how it’s created and sustained.
Principles, values, knowledge of Laws [cause and effect] and proven strategies provide the missing inner foundation for happiness, security, success and self esteem. All the rewards of taking responsibility over our inner life are wealth and fulfillment.
This is how to take further choice and control over your happiness and success – control that is not dependent on anything or anyone else. The upward spiral then begins – each accomplishment feeds into and magnifies the next and you become the sole creator of your happiness, respect and wealth.
To further add to the rewards, when one begins to get pleasure from taking the right actions, it adds the fuel and motivation needed to achieve many great things for ourselves and others. All these right actions flow naturally from living our Life Purpose. Living our Purpose then creates even more wealth, health, love and fulfillment.
But because of modern society and the Residential Schools, that negative Observational Learning has blinded people to these liberating facts. When you are so used to seeing life one way, it’s at first difficult to see it in another way – even if that way is more beneficial.
Permanent change is made possible considerably faster through guidance from mentors. This mentoring saves years of failure and frustration from not knowing where the obstacles and pitfalls are. Sometimes people try to change only to be met with failure after frustrating failure. A good mentor can eliminate this failure for good and speed the whole process up tremendously.
The tribal system we once had, made use of processes of change that have been refined over more than 10,000 years. Role models in the community provide the example and influences and improves the lives of the next generation through positive Observational Learning. This is why “it takes a village to raise a child”.
Constantly improving yourself helps tremendously because perfection is an illusion. Perfection makes our life situation a constant disappointment and makes your happiness dependent on things beyond your control and your sense of choice.
A healthy and satisfying view to life is aiming for excellence in your passion and Life Purpose. You may fall down and fail, but the goal is mastery, not a lack of failure (which is nearly impossible). Happiness then becomes the Journey, not some distant Destination that never will be reached. Your Purpose is everything you really want in life and in our day and age you can find nearly unlimited ways in expressing that purpose for the benefit of all of society. That kind of value is what people pay good money for.
This is also were your creativity comes into play. When you feel good about who you are, you allow your natural talents and gifts to come through. Your Purpose, self chosen values and soul’s creativity flourishes because you no longer holding onto those Egoic ways of judging yourself. You allow your true self to be and create new things of benefit for society. This is what’s really valuable to people because it’s so “rare” and “unique”. Modern society prevents many people from being their true selves.
Living your Purpose allows you to live in complete happiness, fulfillment and wealth. Money, those pieces of paper with ink on them, is simply used to exchange value. Your Life Purpose and passion naturally adds to the wellbeing of society – which is value for others and is why you can literally create huge amounts of wealth. Anyone can develop their talents and be given money in exchange for the valuable end result. But to stop growing to is to stop the natural flow of life and ‘death’ occurs. Muscles not exercised break down.
It’s common for people to feel bad when they realize they were working in the wrong direction or to think that they’re lives just got more complicated. In reality, their lives are complicated because of working against the laws of life for so long. Getting leverage means to do more with less and less. You just have to understand how it works and use it in the key areas.
But a lot of people never even realize these things and die unfulfilled and incomplete. You could possibly save yourself from literally decades of needless pain and suffering. And you can do so by taking advantage of the experience and knowledge of mentors who’ve already taken years to get there (saving you years of frustration and struggle). Your level of success, ultimately, is completely your choice.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Update
I’ve been very, very busy the past few weeks. I just want to take some time to give you an idea where I’m at right now.
Okay. Life was pretty messed up the last few weeks. But it gave me a huge realization: I will act from my truest values and intentions, no matter what tries to bring me down.
I have such a sense of freedom to be happy, fulfilled and just enjoy life no matter how bad things get, that all I want to do is to share this with everyone. 95% of all people’s problems are unnecessary and self created. You just never learned why.
No one has any idea what I’ve been through. I know every person thinks their life was the shittiest, but my life has been exceptionally harsh on me. You’ll know what I mean in a few months.
But I see the same bullshit going on everywhere... unnecessary, self generated pain and suffering. All I can do is sit back and think, “Why do that? Just do this and ALL of your ‘problems’ will be solved”. It’s hard for me when I see this going on everywhere I look.
It took over 5 years for me to figure out what I do now. I almost gave up so many times. I’ve worked extremely hard to get where I am now and my life is only going to get harder. Yes, that’s the price I’ll pay. My life. My dedication. My privacy. Everything.
The illusion of eventually having NO problems in life is one of the many reasons why people can’t enjoy life. They want something better than what they got now that they can’t even enjoy the things that they have in front in them... which are actually the things that truly matter. I have way more to talk about this in future articles.
I still have so much to do, now and later. Owning and operating a business isn’t for someone who wants to get rich quick. It’s for someone who’s willing to shoulder the responsibility, HARD WORK, dedication and level-headedness needed to just barely scrape by for the first few years.
Becoming successful isn’t so great either. People envy and hate you. New people you meet can’t relate to you like a normal person. Someone may seem cool up front but dis you harshly behind your back to make them feel good about themselves again. This is all Ego – needing logical, external reasons to feel good about yourself. I know this will happen because it’s happening already. When I was just some dork loser in high school, no one was threatened by that.
The opposite of Envy is Admiration. You feel envy when you see something within you in someone else. Your mind is telling you you could/should have that also. You just have to uncover it. And when you do, you start to feel admiration when you see others succeed because you feel connected to them rather than separated.
Today, I feel like all this 'hard work' is a very small price to pay and is worth the end result. Because when you’re living your Life Purpose, fulfillment and happiness is the moment in front of you – not some distant, illusionary future event when ‘everything will be perfect and nothing will go wrong ever again and I can finally be happy’.
Things still and will continue to go wrong in my life. I still have to deal with shit that tries to destroy all that I’ve built so far. But, thanks to my strong inner foundation and sense of self, I can easily rise above that and use it in my favor. Talk about sense of control.
I use my struggles and setbacks as POWERFUL ENERGY to create more happiness for myself. It’s a process I’ve developed over the past few years for my own personal use.
Imagine being able to use all your painful life experiences as a source of happiness and fulfillment. If you had/have a hard life, then you have an equal amount of potential for wealth, happiness and fulfillment. You can see why I want to share this knowledge I've discovered.
Personally, it’s painful for me to see what’s going on every single day and knowing that it’s completely preventable. My daughter suffers, my brothers suffer, my parents suffer, my friends suffer and countless people on Reserves and around the world suffer. Needlessly.
Anyway, I have huge plans for 2009. This year is winding up for the big bang; it’s going to knock the world straight onto its head. And I’ll be recording it all here... you’re going to see what a regular person like yourself can do with just a focused intent and some persistence.
Okay. Life was pretty messed up the last few weeks. But it gave me a huge realization: I will act from my truest values and intentions, no matter what tries to bring me down.
I have such a sense of freedom to be happy, fulfilled and just enjoy life no matter how bad things get, that all I want to do is to share this with everyone. 95% of all people’s problems are unnecessary and self created. You just never learned why.
No one has any idea what I’ve been through. I know every person thinks their life was the shittiest, but my life has been exceptionally harsh on me. You’ll know what I mean in a few months.
But I see the same bullshit going on everywhere... unnecessary, self generated pain and suffering. All I can do is sit back and think, “Why do that? Just do this and ALL of your ‘problems’ will be solved”. It’s hard for me when I see this going on everywhere I look.
It took over 5 years for me to figure out what I do now. I almost gave up so many times. I’ve worked extremely hard to get where I am now and my life is only going to get harder. Yes, that’s the price I’ll pay. My life. My dedication. My privacy. Everything.
The illusion of eventually having NO problems in life is one of the many reasons why people can’t enjoy life. They want something better than what they got now that they can’t even enjoy the things that they have in front in them... which are actually the things that truly matter. I have way more to talk about this in future articles.
I still have so much to do, now and later. Owning and operating a business isn’t for someone who wants to get rich quick. It’s for someone who’s willing to shoulder the responsibility, HARD WORK, dedication and level-headedness needed to just barely scrape by for the first few years.
Becoming successful isn’t so great either. People envy and hate you. New people you meet can’t relate to you like a normal person. Someone may seem cool up front but dis you harshly behind your back to make them feel good about themselves again. This is all Ego – needing logical, external reasons to feel good about yourself. I know this will happen because it’s happening already. When I was just some dork loser in high school, no one was threatened by that.
The opposite of Envy is Admiration. You feel envy when you see something within you in someone else. Your mind is telling you you could/should have that also. You just have to uncover it. And when you do, you start to feel admiration when you see others succeed because you feel connected to them rather than separated.
Today, I feel like all this 'hard work' is a very small price to pay and is worth the end result. Because when you’re living your Life Purpose, fulfillment and happiness is the moment in front of you – not some distant, illusionary future event when ‘everything will be perfect and nothing will go wrong ever again and I can finally be happy’.
Things still and will continue to go wrong in my life. I still have to deal with shit that tries to destroy all that I’ve built so far. But, thanks to my strong inner foundation and sense of self, I can easily rise above that and use it in my favor. Talk about sense of control.
I use my struggles and setbacks as POWERFUL ENERGY to create more happiness for myself. It’s a process I’ve developed over the past few years for my own personal use.
Imagine being able to use all your painful life experiences as a source of happiness and fulfillment. If you had/have a hard life, then you have an equal amount of potential for wealth, happiness and fulfillment. You can see why I want to share this knowledge I've discovered.
Personally, it’s painful for me to see what’s going on every single day and knowing that it’s completely preventable. My daughter suffers, my brothers suffer, my parents suffer, my friends suffer and countless people on Reserves and around the world suffer. Needlessly.
Anyway, I have huge plans for 2009. This year is winding up for the big bang; it’s going to knock the world straight onto its head. And I’ll be recording it all here... you’re going to see what a regular person like yourself can do with just a focused intent and some persistence.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)